


I heard you got action

by flywithturtles (greenet)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Casual Sex, F/M, M/M, Multi, Threesome - F/M/M, Very mild d/s, pure ridiculousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-26 01:18:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6217987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenet/pseuds/flywithturtles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I hate both of you,” Keishin groaned. </p><p>Saeko slapped him hard on the back. “Grow a pair, farm boy.” Her eyes gleamed. “Tonight… we’re going dancing!”</p><p>Keishin stared in horror. “No. No! Takeda, stop nodding! Come back here, both of you!”</p><p>That night they went dancing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Don't need no trouble

**Author's Note:**

> Doesn't actually fit into canon, but shhh. Let's pretend it does!
> 
> This is 90% Ukai being in over his head and loving it. 
> 
> Titles: _I heard you got action_ by Pony! and _No Trouble_ by The Weepies

Keishin saw Saeko and instantly felt even more hungover. She was exactly like an older, blonde, female Tanaka and it was horrifying how much Keishin was into it. He was hoping it didn’t mean he secretly had a thing for Tanaka, but that tiny fear was put to rest when Tanaka pulled his shirt off and made a threatening face at the opposing team and all Keishin wanted was to smack him hard upside the head. A feeling he frequently had but had so far never acted on. The temptation was strong though. 

He remembered being seventeen. He hoped like hell he’d never been _this_ seventeen though. 

Takeda seemed to have picked up on Keishin’s thing because he kept giving Keishin little amused sideways looks. He looked innocent whenever Keishin glared at him. Takeda didn’t seem any more hungover than Saeko. There was no justice in the world. 

“Going out drinking tonight?” Saeko asked chirpily. She’d joined them on the bench, presumably to make sure that Keishin remained off-balance for the remainder of the training camp. Keishin wondered darkly if Nekomata, the old bastard, was paying her off. 

Keishin blanched. “Fuck, I hope not.”

Saeko laughed in his face. “Aww, is someone a little hungover?”

“I want to shoot myself in the head every time your brother or Nishinoya shout something,” Keishin admitted. “How are you two even alive?”

“We’re not lightweights like you,” Saeko said. 

Takeda grinned. 

“I hate both of you,” Keishin groaned. 

Saeko slapped him hard on the back. “Grow a pair, farm boy.” Her eyes gleamed. “Tonight… we’re going dancing!”

Keishin stared in horror. “No. No! Takeda, stop nodding! Come back here, both of you!”

That night they went dancing. 

Keishin was starting to get used to the way his protests meant nothing to Takeda, but Takeda at least pretended to listen. Saeko didn’t even do that. 

Takeda was kind of sweet, even if he was incredibly persistent, but Saeko was the kind of cool Keishin could only dream of being. He really wished she’d stop it with the lollipops, though. 

He ended up fucking her in the bar’s bathroom while she grinned wildly at him and told him to put some back into it. She’d pulled him along by his shirt, eyes dancing in a challenge, dangling a condom in front of his eyes before he had the chance to do much of anything. _I like her so much_ , he thought helplessly. 

Takeda’s eyebrows went up when they stumbled back. “You didn’t!”

Keishin just placed his head gently on the table and moaned. Saeko slid in next to him, and he felt her hand ruffling his hair roughly. 

“He’s good, you should try it,” Saeko said cheerfully. 

“Thanks for the recommendation,” Takeda said. Keishin could hear the amused grin in his voice. “But I don’t think I’m his type.” 

Keishin looked up at that. He couldn’t help himself. Takeda was definitely his type, as much as Saeko was, and it was all awful and terrible. 

Saeko was grinning again. “No? Ukai, what do you say?”

Keishin placed his hands under his chin and regarded his beer glumly. “You’re both bastards,” he said. He knew he was being teased. He didn’t really mind it so much, he just wished he’d stop falling for it. 

Saeko gave him another pat on the head, then grabbed her drink. It was neon pink, and probably had more alcohol in it than Keishin planned to drink the entire night. It looked like it tasted like alcoholic pink bubblegum. He had absolutely no intention of checking to see if it did. 

“Or, I thought I wasn’t,” Takeda said slowly. 

Keishin watched him out of the corner of his eye. 

“Take him to the bathroom and find out!” Saeko suggested. 

Takeda flushed. “I couldn’t possibly,” he protested, eyes darting over to the group of third years hopping around on the small dance floor, trying to impress the unimpressed looking female managers. The older coaches had volunteered to stay behind and look after the second years and the first years, but Keishin suspected that they had a grudge match poker game going that he wouldn’t fit into, but his grandfather probably had. 

Saeko grinned. “But you want to.” 

Takeda pursed his lips. “Well…” 

Keishin ended up on his knees in the, thankfully very clean, bathroom, blowing Takeda while Takeda grabbed his hair and babbled sweetly. This was more action than he’d gotten for the last four months. He already wanted to do it again, with both of them. 

Saeko was still grinning when they came back to the table. 

“Well?” she demanded. 

Takeda took his time answering, taking a sip of his drink. Keishin looked at him, knowing that he really shouldn’t be this into them talking about him like this, but somehow he _was_.

“I have no complaints,” Takeda said finally. His eyes were twinkling. “Exceeds expectations.” 

Saeko beamed. “Ha! I knew it.” She held her hand up and gave Keishin an expectant look. He gave her a lazy high five, trying not to blush. She held up her other hand for Takeda, who grinned as he slapped it. 

They spent the rest of the night alternating between teasing him, talking about volleyball and drinking him under the table. 

“You’re adorable,” Saeko said. She was helping Takeda pour him into bed, hands firm on his arm. 

“Am not,” Keishin protested. “I’m cool, and, and, stuff.” 

“A lightweight is what you are,” Takeda said. “Thanks, Saeko. Do you have somewhere to crash? Or.” He hesitated only briefly. “Do you want to share my bed?”

“Oh, would you mind?”

“Not at all.”

Keishin woke up three hours later, cursing his internal clock that insisted on waking him at the usual time he got up. He didn’t mind it when he was working in the field, but it was a bit early when all he had planned for the day was to see if they could improve their receives and maybe keep the boys from having to run up the hill quite so many times. 

He looked over at Takeda’s bed. Saeko was flat on her back, snoring lightly, arms spread over her head. Takeda had his face buried in her stomach, messy hair brushing against her boobs, one arm thrown over her hip. They were both wearing tops and boxers. The sheet had been kicked down to the end of the bed. 

They looked a complete mess and Keishin was still helplessly into it, into both of them. 

He wondered if maybe they’d be interested in doing something all three of them together. He had no idea how to ask for that though. Maybe if he looked embarrassed enough, Saeko would suggest it? It wasn’t the humiliation he was into, and he didn’t think they were either. They’d talked about him, teased him, but not meanly. But Saeko did seem to like making him blush, and they both liked teasing him, so maybe. Maybe. 

He went on a run, though that didn’t help as he was unable to get the idea out of his head, before going back and taking a shower. Saeko and Takeda were still asleep when he came back to grab his bag before going to hunt down some coffee. 

He was distracted during the day. Saeko wasn’t there but Takeda was, of course, and he definitely noticed.

“Are you all right?” he asked during the lunch break. 

“What? Yes.”

“Yesterday… I didn’t make you do anything you didn’t want to, did I?” Takeda gave him a worried look. “Or Saeko?”

Keishin hoped he wasn’t blushing as hard as it felt like he was. He didn’t understand how Takeda could just talk about sex like that, like it was a normal thing to talk about over watermelon rinds and lemonade. “No, you didn’t. I wanted it. I definitely wanted it. I was just… um…” 

Takeda tilted his head to the side. It made him look like a confused, fluffy bird. 

“D’you wanna do it again?” he mumbled. He looked away immediately, not wanting to see Takeda’s reaction in case it was a bad one. He didn’t think it would be, but he wasn’t good at this, wasn’t sure what was the right way of saying it. “I mean, both of you. If you’d be into that at all. With me.”

“That’s why you’ve been so distracted?” Takeda sounded amused, but not in a bad way. Keishin looked back at him. Takeda adjusted his glasses and smiled. “Yes. I did say you exceeded expectation, didn’t I?”

Saeko smiled too, when she arrived, and he managed to get the words out. “Sure! Just give me a call whenever. Should be fun!” 


	2. I’ll hold you up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When they were back home, he wasn’t distracted by Takeda during practice at all. 
> 
> He didn’t exactly forget about the kinky sex they were having — well, would have. Well, it was kinky for _Keishin_ , anyway. He was seriously starting to wonder about Takeda — but it wasn’t really relevant to what they were doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly more serious, but only slightly.
> 
> chapter title: Drive by Melissa Ferrick.

When they were back home, he wasn’t distracted by Takeda during practice at all. 

He didn’t exactly forget about the kinky sex they were having — well, would have. Well, it was kinky for _Keishin_ , anyway. He was seriously starting to wonder about Takeda — but it wasn’t really relevant to what they were doing. 

When he was yelling at the boys to work on their combination attacks and keep practicing their receives, sex was the furthest thing from his mind. Which was a good thing, otherwise things might get really awkward. Sugawara, if nobody else, would be bound to notice, because Sugawara was desperate to prove himself useful to the team and absorbed pretty much everything Keishin said and extrapolated on it. Sawamura paid attention too, even if it was with an air of “thank god I don’t have to be both captain and coach anymore”. Keishin understood, of course he understood, but being under that much scrutiny was a little nerve wrecking at times. 

So it was just as well that volleyball and sex did not really combine in his mind. 

After practice, though, Takeda would glance at him sometimes, a question in his eyes. 

“What?” Keishin said finally. He found himself redding despite there being no reason whatsoever for him to be blushing.

Takeda shook his head. “Nothing,” he said. “Well. Something, I guess. Did you change your mind?” 

“About?” 

“Sex?” Takeda at least lowered his voice, probably more out of a sense of Keishin’s sensibilities than anything, because they were walking down an empty street. Keishin genuinely liked walking, and at some point Takeda had started joining him on his walk home. “With me and Saeko?”

Keishin slowed down, blinking at him. “No?” 

He had spent some quality alone time thinking about it, in fact. 

Takeda blinked back. “But Saeko says you haven’t called her?” 

“I thought…”

“Yeah?”

“I thought you’d take care of it,” Keishin admitted. He’d had one night stands before, but never a booty call type of relationship, which this probably qualified as. Keishin was — bleached hair, attitude, bisexuality and possible kinkiness aside — a Good Miyagi Boy, and Good Miyagi Boys did not do that sort of thing. 

Saeko was nowhere near a Good Miyagi Girl and Takeda was, as best, Honorary Miyagi Boy so they probably didn’t think like that. Keishin couldn’t help it though. 

Takeda studied him for a moment, then smiled. “All right.” 

Two days later, Saeko called him. 

“I’m free this Saturday,” she informed him. “Wanna hook up?”

“Um!” he said, and she laughed. 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” 

She picked him up in her Karasuno Cafeteria car, which she drove like she’d stolen, and possibly had for all Keishin knew, and Keishin had a sudden sympathy with Kageyama and Hinata, who _had_ looked a bit wobbly when they’d shown up for training camp. He understood why now.

They found a place to park, because everybody would know if they checked into a hotel, and Tanaka would probably come home if they went to her place. 

“Anyway,” Saeko said, grinning down at him. She was straddling him, pushing him down into the car seat, rocking against him with small movements of her hips. There really wasn’t space in the car for anything else. “This is fun, isn’t it?” 

It made him feel at least six years younger, but, yes, it was. They were both still mostly dressed; he had his pants down to his knees, and she was wearing a skirt and had quickly stripped out of her panties before crawling on top of him. 

They spent two hours in the car, and most of it was spent with Saeko teaching him how to get her off. “Good boy,” she sighed into his ear after the fourth time, and he went hot all over. 

She drove him back, kissed him goodbye and, with a wave, was gone again. 

He lowered his hand. He felt a little like he’d been hit by a bulldozer, and it was fucking wonderful. 

The only thing he didn’t like was that Takeda hadn’t been there. He could see his hand in Saeko’s sudden appearance, but he still hadn’t been there. 

“You see me all the time,” Takeda said, when he confronted him. He’d waited until they’d reached Takeda’s house, standing under the shelter of the garage, hidden from view. “I wanted you to be sure about both of us.” 

“I’m pretty… Pretty into this,” Keishin said. He was looking down at his shoes because it was easier than facing Takeda, and just saying this was hard enough. At least Saeko didn’t expect him to talk much. Maybe it was the literature teacher in Takeda that made him want to talk about everything. Keishin didn't know how more explicit he could be though. He’d said he’d wanted this, wasn’t that enough?

“Okay. Okay, that’s good to know. Get on your knees for me?” 

Keishin did, easily enough, though much slower than he’d seen Takeda do it. Takeda really wasn’t kidding when he said he was good at begging. And that hadn’t been perverted before, but now it definitely was. _Keishin_ wanted to be doing the begging in this relationship, though. He managed to mumble out something in that line. 

Takeda laughed. “I didn’t think you’d be so sweet,” he said, stroking Keishin’s hair back, before moving his hand down to tilt Keishin’s face up towards him. “Saeko said you did everything she asked you to. You’d do the same for me?”

“Yes.” Of course he would. His experience with men was less comprehensive than his experience with women, but he thought Takeda wouldn’t mind that, wouldn’t mind teaching him the same way Saeko had, even if he had to be more back-to-basics about it. He hesitated. “As long as it’s not while I’m coaching. The boys are more important than my sex life. Anything else and I’ll probably say yes.”

“Of course. I would never jeopardize your position as their coach.” Takeda grinned at him. “Not after the work I did getting you to say yes.” 

Keishin rolled his eyes. But he was a little relieved as well. Fantasizing about Takeda teasing him during matches, or sucking Takeda off in the locker room after practice, or having Takeda reward him by fucking him after a Karasuno win was fun, but actually doing any of it terrified him. 

He thought the boys would understand about Saeko (even if Tanaka would probably kill him if he ever found out), but their beloved sensei? Their beloved sensei _and_ Saeko? No way would they understand that. 

“You’re the most persistent person I know,” Keishin said fondly. It was better than what he was actually thinking, which was ‘you’re a pushy menace and I’m devastatingly into it’.

Takeda shrugged. “Whatever works.” He pushed his fingers into Keishin’s mouth and Keishin sucked automatically. 

Takeda didn’t have him do anything else that time, but a week later he called him to make sure Keishin would be free on Sunday after practice. “Saeko is free as well,” he said, and Keishin agreed instantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting to the threesome part, I promise!


	3. pick the biggest stars I find

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeko was already there when he arrived and she greeted him by pulling him into a kiss. 
> 
> “Hi,” he said, when she let go. He was sure the tips of his ears were burning. He turned to Takeda automatically to kiss him too, and Takeda was there, ready for him. “And, hi.” 
> 
> Takeda grinned. His eyes were bright behind the glasses and he was a little flushed too. At least Keishin wasn’t the only one blushing this time. “That’s how she said hi to me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: Not on Drugs, Tove Lo.

They met at Takeda’s, since he had his own flat and wasn’t sharing it with a variety of nosy family members. 

He’d stared at himself in the mirror for ten minutes before going out. “Am I really doing this?” he wondered out loud. He’d never done anything like this before. Never thought of doing anything like this, but he wanted it. Fuck, he wanted it so badly. He ran his fingers through his hair, grabbed his beer and left.

He was the only one of them who drank beer, but at least it was something for him to do with his hands and something for him to focus on as he walked over to Takeda’s. Saeko was already there when he arrived and she greeted him by pulling him into a kiss. 

“Hi,” he said, when she let go. He was sure the tips of his ears were burning. He turned to Takeda automatically to kiss him too, and Takeda was there, ready for him. “And, hi.” 

Takeda grinned. His eyes were bright behind the glasses and he was a little flushed too. At least Keishin wasn’t the only one blushing this time. “That’s how she said hi to me too.” 

“Well, might as well start off on the right foot,” Saeko said sensibly, and Keishin half expected her to start stripping down right away, but she just sat down on the floor. She patted the space beside her. “Come on, get down here.” 

Keishin sat, and immediately grabbed a beer. He didn’t intend to get drunk — he wanted to enjoy this, remember it — but a beer would help loosen him up. It was probably mostly psychological —he wasn’t that much of a lightweight — but whatever worked. Takeda sat down too. He poured sake into glasses for himself and Saeko. He gave Keishin a questioning look as well but Keishin shook his head.

“Okay, so,” Saeko said. “You asked us, and you’re here, so I’m assuming you’re into this —“

Keishin nodded. 

“—But Take-chan and I both thought we’d better get some ground rules down, just so there aren’t any misunderstandings.” She nudged his shoulder, grinning. “But you like being bossed around, don’t you? Which works great for me, because I love bossing people around. People should always be doing what I tell them to.” 

Keishin nodded again. He still felt a bit awkward about it, but Saeko and Takeda were both so matter a fact about it that he was relaxing into it. “I like it when you talk about me too,” he offered, because he thought they might not have picked up on that. “I know it’s a little weird…” 

“No, I can definitely work with that,” Takeda said. He’d put his hand on Keishin’s ankle and was stroking it slowly. “Saeko, what do you think?” 

“Oh for sure,” Saeko said. She leaned into Keishin’s side, pulling his arm around her waist until his hand was resting over her hip. She grinned up at him. “Anything else you want? I do take requests.” 

“Anything you _don’t_ want?” Takeda added. 

Keishin gave them both a helpless look. “I don’t… I’m not sure?” At the bar — well, neighborhood watering hole with a tiny dance floor might be a better description — it had been a lot easier. They’d just told him what to do, and he’d done it. He hadn’t expected that there would be this much talking about it. But it wasn’t… It wasn’t bad, exactly. He knew they were just trying to make sure they gave him what he wanted, and knowing that they liked him enough to do that, and not just take what he was offering was made him feel more secure about this. 

Saeko and Takeda exchanged a look, and even that made him feel warm. He was definitely a little weird. 

Takeda regarded him thoughtfully. “How about I make a — well, a plan, I suppose — with Saeko of what we’ll do with you, and you can say no if there is something you’re not comfortable with? We’ll do something else instead.” 

“Yes,” he said, relieved. That sounded like something he could do. 

“I want him to eat me out,” Saeko said immediately and Keishin took a hurried gulp of his beer. “Do you fuck women?” That was to Takeda. 

“Yes. You want me to fuck you?” Takeda looked a little surprised. 

Saeko shrugged. “I think it would be fun. And I think Ukai would like it too.” 

Keishin nodded in case his input was needed at this point. 

“Okay then.” Takeda pressed his thumb into Keishin’s ankle as he thought. “If he manages not to come, he could fuck me after,” he said finally. He gave Keishin a searching look, like he was making sure Keishin was on board with this plan, and Keishin nodded again. 

“I think we have a plan!” Saeko beamed. 

They were all silent for a moment. 

“Um. What happens now?” Keishin asked. He knew what they wanted him to do, but he needed one of them to tell him when to start. Saeko was warm and round against him, Takeda’s touch, while innocent enough, was still Takeda touching him, and they’d just had an entire conversation about how they were going to fuck; getting him going really wasn’t going to be a problem.

“Bedroom?” Takeda suggested. 

They were all in favor of that suggestion. Takeda and Saeko bouncing to their feet right away, heading off with Takeda in the lead. 

Keishin finished his beer before following them. He’d just needed a second on his own, to center himself, but he was ready now. 

Or so he thought, until he entered the bedroom and saw Saeko and Takeda kissing, Saeko’s fingers twined into Takeda’s messy hair. They were making little wet noises and Keishin was instantly hard as a rock and seriously doubting that he’d get to fuck Takeda tonight. 

He started stripping while they were still kissing. Takeda was pulling Saeko’s t-shirt over her head and then she was unzipping her pants and pushing them down, and soon Takeda was the only one left wearing anything. 

Saeko waved him over, and they kissed, and this he knew how to do. They kissed until Keishin felt a gentle touch on his hip, and turned towards Takeda. 

They passed him between each other for a while, murmuring to each other, calling him good and sweet and giving each other tips on how to kiss him. He liked it more than he’d thought he would which said something because he’d thought he’d like it _a lot_. 

“Okay,” Takeda finally said, letting him go. He smiled up at Keishin. “Time to put your mouth to work on a different kind of job.” 

Saeko was lying on the bed, spreading her legs for him to crawl between. She was already wet before he lowered his mouth to her and started licking and sucking, following her commands. It was easy like that. She knew exactly what she wanted him to do, and he didn’t feel uncertain at all, he didn’t have to think, didn’t have to tentatively try to figure anything out, because she told him. 

He was hard but it was somehow unimportant when he was like this. Making Saeko come was more important. 

When she did, her thighs tightened around his head, keeping him in place. “Ah, man, you’re good at this,” she sighed, and he smiled. 

He sat back on his heels when she let him go again. He looked up and saw that Takeda was carefully rolling a condom down over his cock while Saeko was stroking her hand down his back, eyes a little glassy. Keishin shifted out of the way, letting Takeda take his place. 

He wasn’t sure what to do next, so he knelt on the bed, up by the headboard, by Saeko’s blonde head, and waited for one of them to give him an order he could follow. He didn’t think they’d mind if he did anything on his own, but he just didn’t want to. While he waited, he watched. It _was_ hot seeing Takeda fuck Saeko, seeing the way Saeko pushed her hips up to meet his thrusts, the moment where Takeda started babbling again, and the way they were definitely enjoying themselves.

“Ukai,” Takeda said. He was smiling. Keishin liked that they kept smiling at him. It made him happy, and it convinced him that they were having as much fun as he was, that they liked being together like this. “Play with Saeko’s breasts, please. Saeko would like it, I think.” 

Saeko held her hand out towards him, nodding. 

The entire night went according to the plan they’d made. Takeda had to show both Saeko and Keishin how to prepare somebody for getting their ass fucked though. 

“You’ve never…?” Keishin asked. Somehow Saeko just struck him as a girl who had a drawer full of sex toys and no hang ups in using them. Possibly it was wistful thinking on his side. He’d thought about it sometimes but he still lived with his parents, and while his mother was wonderful, she did on occasion enter his room and, just, no. Absolutely not. 

Saeko shook her head. She was watching, fascinated, as Keishin moved his fingers carefully. He was probably overdoing it with the lube, but better too much than too little was his philosophy. “No, but now I want to.” She looked up at Takeda. “Would you let me?” 

“If you want, sure,” Takeda said. He moved his hand down between his legs to grasp Keishin’s wrist. Keishin stilled, blinking up at him in surprise. He’d thought he’d been doing a pretty good job. “You should fuck me now.” 

Keishin did. Saeko and Takeda made out in front of him, and with that visual, and with how long he’d been hard it didn’t take him long to come once he had their permission to do so. Saeko pushed him down on the bed after. “Hands,” she demanded, and Keishin gave her what she wanted, let her use his hands to get off. 

Afterwards Takeda was nuzzling into his neck sleepily while Saeko flopped down on his chest, pulling his arm around her. 

“He’s good with his hands, don’t you think?” she said.

“Very,” Takeda agreed. “To be honest with you I think I could probably come just from him fingering me.”

“Oooh, you should try it!” Saeko said eagerly. “I wanna see!”

Takeda laughed. He lifted his head up to look at her. “My recovery time is a little longer than this, I’m afraid.” 

“I have nowhere I need to be until eight tomorrow morning,” Keishin noted. 

They looked at him, they looked at each other, then they grinned. 

It really did nothing to make Keishin’s thing for both of them go away. 

He already knew that he’d ask them again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to see if I could do a short chaptered fic, and apparently I can! So that's neat.


End file.
